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Have you ever had to deal with a narcissist? What was that experience like for you?
Do you wish you had a strategy to turn the tables back on them as they frequently do on you?
That was the focus of our conversation with Rebecca Zung on the last installment of The Art of Making Things Happen Podcast.
Rebecca Zung is recognized as a top 1% of attorney in America. She is the bestselling author of two books and has a successful YouTube channel with over 100 thousand subscribers. Zung is a master negotiator in areas of divorce, business, and dealing with narcissists.
Read on to discover her top insights for dealing with a narcissist.
What is a narcissist?
Zung admits that she is not a psychologist, but in her experience with dealing with narcissists in her law practice, in business, and in her personal life, she has recognized a few telltale signs:
- They extrapolate all of their value from external sources.
- They have no inner sense of self.
- They have no inner sense of value.
- They have no feeling for other people.
- They don’t have any sense of care, compassion, love, empathy, or sympathy for another human being besides for themself.
Due to these issues, many narcissists are very difficult to negotiate when it comes to matters of the heart during a divorce, or in matters of business. To effectively deal with narcissists, Zung developed an acronym for negotiating with them for her clients.
The S.L.A.Y. Program
While working with narcissists through her law practice, in business, and in her personal life, she recognized a pattern for negotiating with narcissists so that you can get what you want. She used them to her advantage to help her clients negotiate and win divorce cases from narcissistic partners.
Last March, she decided to create a program to help others who deal with narcissists. She called it Slay Your Negotiation With a Narcissist, or Slay for short.
Here is what S.L.A.Y. stands for:
- Focus on you
Her program is a step-by-step process for negotiating and winning against narcissists in divorce. Since starting her program, she has helped over a thousand people successfully negotiate their divorce against narcissistic spouses.
What makes negotiating with a narcissist so difficult?
According to Zung, narcissists are always driven by what she calls narcissistic supply. It can come in the form of prestigious jobs, earning lots of money, receiving adulation.
She calls this the diamond supply, as it deals more with how a narcissist looks to the community, to other people, their respect, and their reputation.
Additionally, narcissistic supply can also come from which she calls coal supply:
- Their ability to control people
- Devaluing people
- Debasing people
- Treating people poorly
- Making people squirm
- Making the other person’s life miserable
While this may seem bleak for the person trying to negotiate with this type of person, there are ways to use their narcissistic tendencies to your advantage in a negotiation.
The key to leveraging a narcissist is to create a perceived threat to their diamond supply.
Slay Your Negotiation This Year
If you are involved in a tricky negotiation when it comes to love or business with a narcissist, don’t be a victim. You can negotiate and win against a narcissist.
Take the four-hour crash course to slay your negotiation with a narcissist and win.
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