Are You Selfish?; Steve Sims
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Hey, how are you doing? This is Steve Sims and welcome back to another episode of The Art of Making Things Happen podcast. And for those of you that are actually watching this video in Sims Distillery, hello. All right. So I want to talk to you about an event that I was at. See I’m sitting here nicely on a Sunday afternoon just chilling in my garage and I came off of about a week ago being in Vegas where I was a keynote speaker at an event called Mastermind Summit and this event was actually for the mortgage and real estate community. Now I did the keynote on the Thursday and the night before we actually did a cocktail reception and then a dinner. So I’ve got to talk to a bunch of people before we went into the main event.
During the dinner the word selfish came up and then during the cocktail reception. it came up again. And both times it did, I asked everyone, I asked them a very, very simple question. Who here is selfish? And the first thing that happens with everyone is they kind of wheel back and they go, “Oh, you know, that’s not me. I’m not self-” There’s a couple of people that maybe have had a couple of whiskeys and went, “Er, that’s me.” But most people actually move away from it because selfish is a very, very negative word. It’s a very, very negative reaction. You’re taught from a young age that if you’re negative, it’s wrong. Sorry. If you’re selfish, it’s wrong. Your parents turn around and go, “Hey, you know you’ve got those sweets. Don’t be selfish. Share them around. Oh, you’ve got that toy. Don’t play with it on your own. Share it with Bobby over there. Don’t be selfish.” So we’re told selfish is a bad word.
You're taught from a young age that if you're negative, it's wrong. Click To TweetAgain, you want to test this, turn around to your people in your office, your friends and go, “Hey, who here is selfish? Who thinks of themselves as selfish?” And most people will run away, run for the hills for that word or for that label. And I’m here to tell you, me, Steve Sims, I am selfish and proud. You see, let me ask you this question. When was the last time you were on a flight and the steward and stewardess walk up and they give you all the- you know, the exits, the front, back, left, and right and then they give the demonstration as if an oxygen mask falls out of the roof during a case of an emergency or whatever. When was the last time you heard them turn around and say, “And when that oxygen mask falls from the ceiling, put it on someone else first before you look after yourself.”
They don’t do that, do they? They don’t do that because quite simply, how can you look after somebody else if you’re not in a position of strength. If you’re not strong, if you’re not confident, if you’re not powerful and in control of where you are, how can you help some other people? I’ve seen people being bullied into donating for charities cause it looks good, but they’re having trouble paying their mortgage. I’m here to say whatever you do, whatever you do, ask yourself the question, “How does this help me? What do I get out of it? What’s in it for me?” Because only once you are in that strength, can you truly help other people.
Now you’ll get people come to you and they go, “Oh, I need to talk to you about a business idea.” Well that person may be a good relationship for you in the future. It may be a business idea that you want to get involved in. But if it benefits just them… Let’s say it’s the aggravating neighbor that you really don’t like and wants to ask you a question on business because he saw you in a newspaper. Then just say, “Hey, I appreciate it, but I don’t really have the time.” Or, “I try not to mix a business and pleasure. So, I’m going to take a pass on it. Thank you very much for inquiring,” and walk away. Start being selfish with your time.
I’m 52 years old now and I started this back when I was 40. I asked myself very directly within everything I did, how does this benefit me? How does this help me? Now it may help you by the education of the challenge of the questions. Someone may say, “Oh, I want to talk to you about so-and-so.” And you could go, “Oh, I hadn’t really thought about that.” This would help me to actually enter into a conversation. See, it doesn’t have to be horrible. You’re not trying to keep someone away from anything, but you’re just trying to say, “Hey, I can only give to you when I’m strong enough to look after my family.” It also does put you in a much given position because when you know your mortgage is paid and your family’s all cared for and looked after, you actually want to do more. You want to help more people. So funny enough, the byproduct of you being selfish in the beginning is that you gain a position of strength and you end up giving more.
I asked myself very directly within everything I did, how does this benefit me? Click To TweetSo don’t give when you’re weak. Don’t be bullied into giving while you don’t really have. And start thinking of the fact that you are a selfish individual that needs to ask yourself the question, does this help me? If so, how? And once the answer is a yes and positive in that fashion, then you can turn around and go, all right, I want to help them. Look at selfish as positive position. Anyway, that’s me. It was only a brief one, but I wanted to get people into the mindset of looking after themselves first. So to get into a position of strength in which to look after the masses. Thank you for tuning into The Art Making Things Happen. I’m proud of you being in the community and if you know any cold cats out there that don’t know me yet, then let them know. Share it. Okay. Again, position of strength. Don’t be selfish. All right, chat with you soon. Bye.
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