Don't Buy Your Wife a Gift; Steve Sims

Hey, you’re listening to The Art of Making Things Happen by Steve Sims, and this is me. I’m going to tell you about why you should never buy your wife a gift, and more importantly, why she will actually say thank you. You see, it was years ago that I actually made the grave mistake, like many people have, in their relationships of forgetting my wife then was my girlfriend’s birthday. So what do guys do? We’re very smart, we run down to the local flower store, the local garage, and try to pick up a box of chocolates, and end up magnifying the problem by showing the rubbish that we can buy, because it’s in a 7-11, or the fact that we didn’t actually remember in the first place.

So the following year, I actually decided to do something. And this was actually before I launched the world’s leading concierge firm. So maybe this was an inkling of what my profession was going to be. But I actually went and decided “I’m not giving you anything. I don’t need Hallmark to tell me how to tell you I love you.” So going and buying a card with a little Guinea pig on it, or a little bunny rabbit going, “I love you, dear girlfriend,” wasn’t in it for me. So I thought what I’m going to do is I’m going to show I care. I’m going to pick out one point during the year that you’ve shone a light on something, something that you’ve thought of that, “Wow, I really love that. I really wanted to do that, or that was absolutely fantastic,” and do it again.

Now these can be examples, like your girlfriend or your partner loves Italian food, and you’ve got a great Italian restaurant. Find out if you can get the chef’s table in that restaurant and actually learn how to cook in that restaurant. Take it from an event, to an experience, to an unforgettable memory. You see, when you do that, it shows you care. And the old saying goes that they won’t care until you show you care. Over the years, I’ve done things with my wife where she’s shot guns with Navy Seals because she made a remark during a movie, “I’ve never shot a gun before.” Stuck in my mind. Even make a note on your phone. But I’ve done those things. We’ve done shooting guns. We’ve done diving out planes, skydiving, driving a Porsche car, one of the Porsche driving experiences. The one we used was over in Los Angeles. I think it’s Carson it’s called. We went to Japan because my wife, on her 50th, said all she wanted to do was go out and have sushi. So I took her to a sushi restaurant in Japan.

Now, that’s obviously going to the extreme. Most of the time, they’ve actually been far less expensive, far more impactful, and extremely more considerate of what it was she actually wanted to do. You see, impactful doesn’t carry a price tag. Impact is when you can show that you’ve listened to what they’ve said and conveyed it into an experience. And that’s why you don’t get a card. You should try it. Not only on birthdays, but maybe even around Christmas. When your kids want something for Christmas, instead of getting them a pair of sneakers, take them out for a day. You see, you can buy anything tomorrow, the day after, and the day after that, probably even cheaper in a sale, but creating an experience gains traction throughout the years.

There’s an ROI that actually multiplies in your head over the years. And you will look back when you were a kid and you will look back in your relationship and it won’t be a case of, “Do you remember when you bought me those sneakers? Those are $115 Nike’s?” It’ll be, “Do you remember the day we went and did this? Do you remember when all of us went on a road trip? Do you remember we went backstage? Do you remember when we actually learned how to cook or how to dance or how to sing or how to play piano?”

Experiences are the currency of today. And I’m urging you now, do not buy the Hallmark card. If Hallmark go out of business for this statement, hey, I’m really, really sorry, but I want people to stop being so lazy. I want you to start thinking about how to transfer what people like into what they’re actually feeling. Be a greater relationship, you’ll be great at connectivity, and is following the theme of knowing how to communicate with each other.

This is Steve Sims, drinking whiskey. You know the scoop. If you like this, share it. If you don’t, then tell them as well, but get the right people in, not everyone. All the best. Peace out. Love you.

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