Do you know what I find incredibly ironic?
The fact is that most people believe in the power to change physical attributes but not social ones.
Why is that?
You’ll have one bloke who decides he will run a marathon, and months later, they are out on the road pounding feet to the pavement.
However, it’s rare when someone decides to change a characteristic of their personality.
Like, deciding to become more charismatic, charming, or cordial in conversation.
We believe in the power to transform our bodies, but not our minds? It’s like we think we’ve got what we got, and that’s it.
How silly is that?
Anshar Seraphim is a High-Stakes Negotiation Trainer, Business Analyst, and a Sales Psychology Specialist.
If anyone should believe that mental attributes are a static quality, it should be Anshar. Born with Autism, he literally put himself through interpersonal skills bootcamp.
He describes it as being born as an empty vessel, where he had to build himself from the ground up and teach himself how to learn admirable interpersonal qualities.
Due to being on the autism spectrum, he had to teach himself:
He literally put himself through psychological charm school. Now he uses the skills he applied himself to help others.
Anshar has used the skills he’s learned about applied psychology, neuroscience, cognitive belief change, and personal engineering to help train others in the art of sales.
He started his consulting journey working in the Jewelry industry, where he consulted for Kay Jewelers and Jared. There, he served as a special advisor for sales training and customer dynamics.
Anshar explains that he helped sales associates break the bad habits of sales, such as going into a spiel or trying to pre-close objections.
He adds, while that may work when you’re selling an everyday item, it doesn’t work in the jewelry business, and that’s because buying an engagement ring is personal and emotional.
The same tactics that work with one couple may not work with another, and you have to be cognizant.
Anshar moved from Jewelry into the legal prostitution industry. He saw it as a natural segway, as it involves some of the same high-stakes dynamics that are at play in the Jewelry industry.
When it comes to the intimacy of legal prostitution, it’s important that you know how to handle a myriad of different social situations.
For instance, Anshar explains, legal sex workers need to know how to juggle complex human emotions like:
Anshar explains that while most people have the notion of brothels where people go to cheat on their spouses, in most cases, it’s about people trying to reconnect with intimacy.
To help someone deal with such powerful and complex human emotions takes a huge amount of trust, rapport, and connection.
We live in a world that is more digitally connected than ever before, yet we feel more disconnected on a personal level.
Whatever your challenges are, you can learn to change your mental attributes, just like physical ones.
It requires the ability to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. The more you are willing to break out of your comfort zone, the more you can grow.